What makes me so different?

“What makes me so different?”

That’s what I often ask myself when I start day dreaming of becoming this famous writer that people will remember for decades on end. I picture myself walking through an airport and middle aged women will come up to me and say, “I just love your latest novel. It truly spoke to me.” I picture giving speeches and universities and telling stories of how I became so successful. I can hear myself giving typical clichés of a person who has made it big, “Don’t give up. All it takes is hard work.” Sometimes during long joyrides I mute the radio, or I pause the CD, and I interview myself. I picture myself on Late Night TV shows, and the audience goes absolutely wild when I walk out onto the stage. I have a Man of the Year acceptance speech already finished in my head. I picture my kids bragging in grade school lunch rooms about their Writer Dad. I see myself going to career days, and kids are actually interested in my profession. I picture myself as a writer… But what makes me so different?

                How am I different from the other millions of aspiring writers who share the same daydreams as I? How am I different from the load of failed writers who just never made it in the business? How am I different from the lady who quit her job as a nurse to stay home and write full time? How could I match her dedication? How can I improve my dedication? What makes me so different that I can actually make it as a writer? How can I stand out among a population of novelist who want the same thing I’m reaching for?

                I fear that I am not different, I am not special, talented, gifted, or even an average writer. How dare I have the audacity to chase a dream in the midst of a million other marathoners who are better prepared, better trained, and better qualified to win this race. What makes me so different?